Unforgivable Sins?

1 John 4:10

Good News Translation (GNT)

¹⁰ This is what love is: it is not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the means by which our sins are forgiven.

My parents sent me to Christian schools all the way through college. Well meaning teachers played on my fears to scare me into “being good”. They also emphasized guilt.  I suppose this was done in the hopes of making me want salvation more. The net result of playing on my fears and guilt was to thrust me into despair.

Then they brought on what were big guns to me. “For if we sin willfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.” [i] Since I am somewhat rebellious by nature, many of my sins were certainly “willful”. In fact as I thought about it candidly, sin is really just rebellion against God. With that in mind, wasn’t all sin willful?

In Bible class we had used Christ’s Sermon on the Mount to expand our understanding of the Ten Commandments. It showed that lusting for a woman is equivalent to adultery. What red blooded teenage boy hadn’t done that? To curse someone or hate someone was just as evil as to murder. Who hadn’t hated a bully or even an unsympathetic teacher? To tell that white lie to get out of punishment is the same as bearing false witness. And the list went on and on.

Putting all these things together, I got the vision of my guardian angel holding a large black book in his left hand and a pen in his right hand furiously writing down all of my willful sins. He was already at least on page 742. There was, of course, no sacrifice for any of those sins. Christ’s mission on earth was to sacrifice Himself for me, but this sacrifice was totally inadequate for all my willful sins. All I had was “a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation.” Yes, indeed, despair was my lot. I did not love God. Period. Full stop.

Finally some of the great promises in the Word impressed themselves on my mind. “God so loved the world … that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have eternal life”.[ii]

Thank You, Lord, that You loved me even though I did not love You. Thank You for the illogical fact that Your marvelous grace forgives and erases my “willful” sins. Thank You for hope! I love You.

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[i] Hebrews 10:26-27 KJV

[ii] John 3:16