Revelation 22:10-12 (King James Version)
10And he saith unto me, Seal not the sayings of the prophecy of this book: for the time is at hand.
11He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still.
12And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be.
It started early in life. We were discussing the closing of probation in a class in my parochial primary school. I had already discovered the inevitability of sin in my life. Time and time again I had had to seek forgiveness for something I had done. I began to understand how basically evil I was, even though I was not yet ten years old. This doctrine that God would draw a line across time after which the solemn declaration would be pronounced, petrified me:
The threat of this proclamation hung over my head like Damocles’ sword. It struck fear into my young breast that haunted me. My teacher explained that if there was a sin in my life that was unforgiven, it could no longer be forgiven. The fires of hell were awaiting me.
Timidly I raised my hand and asked a question that haunted me. Since, my entire life had been a sequence of sins for which I had to ask forgiveness, not only of God but also some mortal soul I had wronged. “What if I’m on my way to ask forgiveness and the close of probation is declared? Will it be too late?”
My teacher, who loved us kids, realized the distress I found myself in. But I’m not sure that she had encountered that question. Her answer left a lot of uncertainty in my mind: “I’m sure that if God sees you’re actually going to confess a sin that He will understand.” But her answer lacked conviction.
To her the guardian angels God had assigned to each one of us carried a black book and continually wrote down every evil thought or action we might have. That picture of my guardian angel had been burned into my young mind, too. The angel might indeed be guarding me from harm, although he never stopped me from getting hurt, possibly because he was too busy writing down the continuous notes about my sins.
My life span had to double before I would begin to put Christ’s yielding His life for me together with His love for purity. Christ loved me and that is why His grace took care of my evil nature. Probation might indeed close, but God’s love and grace would never end.
Thank You, Jesus, for Your infinite and eternal love. Help me to show others this great love.
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