Sunday, July 24, 2016

Conversation Starters



John 4:27New
International Version (NIV)
27 Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

Recently, at the delightful reception of a beautiful wedding, eight of us were sitting at a table where 6 of us were more or less closely related. The other two were total strangers. For some reason I personally feel uncomfortable ignoring the presence of someone who is in close proximity to me. I guess that in the past I have been snubbed enough times to not like the feeling.
Introducing myself, I asked the couple their names. They told me. Over the next half hour I found out they live in Riverside, where I live. Riverside has close to a half-million people, so it’s no surprise that we didn’t know each other. They’re happily married after some thirty years. They have a 24 year old daughter who might be getting married one of these days and two teenage sons.
They’re hoping to move north and live within 30 miles of the Canadian border once they both retire. Naturally, their children do not share their joy in living in the wilderness. “What are you going to do for fun, Dad?” The couple loves the out of doors, especially hiking, an interest we share enthusiastically. We spoke of places near Riverside that we enjoy visiting. When we parted at the end of the evening, we hugged each other as though we had been long time friends.
Later I couldn’t help thinking of how I had come from being a dedicated nerd and introvert to the point where I could talk to people like these. Many years ago a long time friend introduced us to Amway. I worked Amway hard and lost money consistently. It just wasn’t my kind of life. But I learned one thing from these zealots. They encouraged me to “FORM” strangers. This is an acronym of a way to get others talking, so I don’t have to, and make friends in the process. Ask the new acquaintance about these:
F    their Family;
O    their Occupation;
R    their Recreation;
M    then present your Message.
I was encouraged to listen closely and, as soon as possible, try to write down names and important points for later reference. Although I never sold a box of soap (Amway), I found this FORM acronym of great help whenever I found myself sitting uncomfortably next to someone I didn’t know.
Try it on someone you’re sitting next to on a plane or standing next to in an interminable line. It is absolutely amazing what you’ll learn. Usually the former stranger parts from you thinking about what an interesting conversationalist you are because you let them do all the talking.
Lord, thank You for an easy way to talk to strangers, like You did with the Samaritan woman. And give me wisdom to weave Your message of love into the conversation.




[i] http://infed.org/mobi/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/conversation_jason_schukltz_cc_by_nc_2_flickr_jdawg_484678361.jpg

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